In part 6 we discussed the power of our thoughts. If our thoughts are that powerful, just imagine what happens when we string those thoughts together into a story. Just as a rope made of tightly wound threads is exponentially stronger than a single strand, so it is with stories and thoughts. This is a many faceted topic. Today we'll touch on just one aspect.
The stories we tell
What stories do we tell ourselves regarding our bodies and how we are with food? Do they sound anything like this?
- Being overweight is in my DNA. Have you seen my family?
- I've been overweight/had digestive issues since I was a child. It's just how I am.
- I've tried everything; nothing works for me.
- High blood pressure/high cholesterol (or any disease) are inevitable for me due to my genes and lifestyle.
These may seem like individual thoughts, but if you look more closely, you'll notice that each of these ideas has a whole history attached to it. It looks into the past and twists threads of past experience into one strong current story.
You can rewrite your story.
The good news is you are the author of your story: not only do you have the power to chose how it goes from here on out, you can also go back and edit what you've already written. What do I mean by that? Am I suggesting a person can change the past? We all know that's not possible. What is possible though is to go back and see our past experiences through a new lens, thus "rewriting" the meaning of our story.
Let me explain by using one of our stories listed above.
"I've tried everything; nothing works for me." - Inherent in this story are all the efforts we've made that haven't turned out the way we'd hoped: the workout plans we haven't stuck with, the changes in diet that haven't impacted our weight/digestion/body image or function long-term, the weight we've lost and gained back, the diets we've "cheated on" - this list might be quite long. Because of these things, the story we tell ourselves is one of discouragement and failure that can cause us to lose hope.
What if instead of failure and perhaps shame we could look at our efforts through the lens education? We didn't stick with the running plan because we were sick of our knees being in pain all of the time. So running isn't our thing; now we know. Cutting out gluten didn't change our digestive issues. So we're not gluten intolerant; now we know. We cut out screen time within an hour before going to bed and still can't easily fall asleep. So there may be more layers to our insomnia; now we know. You see, all theses things aren't failures, they're bits of information.
Even Thomas Edison with all his brilliance endured many "failures" before creating a light bulb that worked the way he'd hoped. Do you remember how he viewed his "failures?" He didn't consider them failures, at all; he saw them as an education in what didn't work. With each attempt he got smarter. Most often we need to wade through what doesn't work before we learn what does.
Many of us don't have the patience or heart for that. We want something that's going to "fix the problem" - one magic pill, one exercise program we naturally love, one or two foods we can drop from our diet to alleviate our digestive discomfort, one attitude shift that enables us to love our bodies. But our bodies and minds are complex things. "One thing" alone is almost never the answer.
Remember this though, we're in our body for the long haul - all of our life, as a matter of fact. It's worth all the time and effort required to get to know it and to learn what works best for it to be able to function as well as possible. It's worth every effort we can make to create a harmonious relationship between our minds, our bodies, and our spirits.
Practices -
1) Write and rewrite your story.
This will take a little chunk of time, probably at least an hour. First,
write down your food, diet,and body history - no judgement, just
write. What attitudes and practices were you raised with? What were
some experiences with food or your body that had significant
impact? How has your relationship with your body evolved
throughout the years? Have you felt any betrayal around your health
or body? Do you have secrets or fears around food, health, or body
you keep concealed? What are your best memories with food, health,
and body?
Once this is done, take some time rereading and processing what
you've recorded. How have these ideas and experiences led to where
you are now?
Next, return to any themes or ideas with a negative impact. Write
about them again, but this time put them in a positive light. Find
the lessons. Make peace with all that brought you to where you are
now. Let go as needed. You've lived. You've learned. You're smarter
now - just like Edison.
Now, as our British friends say, Keep Calm and Carry On. Keep living.
Keep learning.
2) Ask, "What can I learn?"
Moving forward remind yourself often to view all your life
experiences as learning opportunities. One of the beauties of this
classroom we call Life is that there are no failing grades. As long as
we even try to grow and improve, we're passing the class. There will
be times we feel like we've failed, but we'd do well to remember
while we might sometimes "fail" a test, it wasn't the whole course.
We'll have almost unlimited chances to take that test again and
improve our score. Life is a very generous teacher in that way.
You get to write your own story. What will it say?
