Let’s get on our science nerd for a minute. Don’t worry, just a little nerd, not full-out get-on-your-pocket-protector-your-lab-coat-and-your-horn-rimmed-glasses nerd. Our nerd topic of the day?
Magnetism.
By the way, nerd is a compliment in my book. Everyone is nerdy about something. When you know way more than the average human about a subject? Nerd. Or dork, if you prefer. Dork is equally complimentary the way I see it. But back to magnets.
Say we have three magnets. Our goal is to move magnet C to where we want it using the influence of one of the other two magnets. With magnet A we use the attracting polarity, with magnet B the repulsing polarity. As you know, magnet A would be much more effective since the attracting magnetism would attach magnet C to magnet A and we could drag it wherever we pleased by moving magnet A. It would stay attached until we opted to remove it.
On the other hand, the repulsive magnetism of magnet B will only push magnet C so far before its influence is lost. It then becomes an unpredictable game of chasing magnet C around using much more energy with far less accuracy in getting it to our desired location.
This is a perfect illustration of today’s topic:
The Power of Moving Toward Rather Than Away From
Just like with our magnets, when we want to make a change in ourselves or our lives, in other words, move it, going toward what we want is much more effective than going away from what we don’t want. This is true for thoughts and attitudes as well as habits/actions.
If our goal is to think of something other than an elephant, which is more effective?
Negative (going away from)
Don’t think of an elephant. Don’t think of an elephant. Don’t think of an elephant.
OR
Positive (going toward)
Think of a tiger. Think of a tiger. Think of a tiger.
Our success is much more likely as we orient ourselves toward what we want instead of what we don’t want.
Here are some ways it shows up in the everyday activities of walking, riding, or driving.
Have you ever had the experience of looking at something as you were driving and then found yourself naturally drifting in that direction? That, like the attracting magnet, is the power of toward.
When we drive we look ahead (toward) with brief glances into our rearview mirror (away from). Imagine what would happen if we tried to do it the other way around
When we leave our house we’re going to somewhere – a friend’s, the store, work, and we keep walking, riding, or driving until we get there. We set our intention, and we move toward it. We’re much less likely to end up at the store if all we think about is moving away from our house.
If we find ourselves accomplishing a goal then reverting – losing weight and regaining it, getting organized then allowing the clutter to creep back in, leaving a job we don’t like then ending up in another job we don’t like, getting out of debt and then racking it up again, we may have been focused on what we were trying to get away from – being overweight, living in a mess, a crummy workplace, debt, rather than what we could be moving toward – better health and energy, a peaceful environment, meaningful work, financial freedom.
Another possible reason for achieving then reverting may be that even though we were heading toward what we wanted, it was what I call a short-term toward. Getting out of a job we’re unhappy with could be a short-term toward. We’re focused on getting a new job; that could be viewed as toward. Using our magnet analogy, we’re being pulled toward magnet A (the new job) until we find another job and quit the old one. But then once we’re at our new job, our goal is met and we disconnect ourselves from the magnet. By choosing a short-term toward we, in essence, put an expiration date on its effectiveness. There’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what we want long term.
In other words, if what we want long-term is to look back and be happy that we dared to leave the first job, great! Our short-term toward was sufficient. But if what we want long-term is to work at something that’s meaningful to us, our short-term toward isn’t going to have the power to sustain what we want. We need to find a more long-term toward.
Another word for long-term toward is dream.
Imagine if Martin Luther King had had a short-term toward of wanting blacks to be able to sit wherever they wanted on a bus. He could have been happy with affecting that one change. That alone would have been fantastic. Contrast that with awe-inspiring breadth, and therefore the magnificent power and pull, of his dream. Now that was a toward!
Take a few minutes and think about how you’ve seen this idea played out in your life. It could be very enlightening.
So, as we set our minds and hearts on the changes we want to make, let’s remember our magnets and the effect of positive attraction and use that power to pull us forward.