How many times have you heard people say, “Like my mom used to say…,” or “My dad always told me…?” This isn’t one of those times. To be honest, I can’t think of anything either of my parents “always” said. Today is about something I learned by watching what my dad did. In this case, his actions definitely spoke louder than words.
For most of my life, it drove me crazy how stubborn my dad was. I could tell you story after story of how unbending he was when he made up his mind…and I’m the youngest of six kids. He’d had plenty of time for softening up by the time I came along. I can only imagine how unyielding he was with my oldest brother and sister. Once he decided something, that was it. No amount of attempted reasoning, pleading, promising, or whining (It was (ahem) my sisters who whined, not me, of course.) could sway him. Too many times to remember I wished he would lighten up or loosen up.
As you can guess, that made for some fun times.
Fast forward to when he was 70 and had a severe stroke. He lost his ability to walk, to speak, and many other basic functions. It would have been so easy and completely understandable for him to give up. But he didn’t. Over the course of the next three years, he fought to regain his speech and other physical abilities.
Time and time again he’d struggle and strive to regain his physical abilities and make some progress, sometimes fairly significant progress, only to be knocked back almost to square one by a bout of the flu or other setback. He’d end up stuck in his bed or his wheelchair for a while then he’d be right back at work fighting for as much autonomy as possible.
My heart broke for him every time things pushed him back down. But then as I watched him meet each additional challenge with that iron will of his, determined to overcome his physical limitations again and again, I was inspired and in awe of him. Witnessing the results of his stubbornness in this application, it became my most favorite quality of his. I couldn’t have been more grateful for it.
It’s like that with each of us. Often our greatest strengths and our greatest weaknesses are the same exact qualities. The trick, then, is learning how to maximize the times when they truly are strengths while learning to minimize their negative side when they show up as weaknesses, and appreciating them all the while.
Recognizing both sides of our dominant qualities can help us use our gifts to their best effect and allow us to appreciate all the many facets of us. It can help us maintain an accurate, positive self-image even as we acknowledge where there’s room for improvement.
What is one of your greatest strengths? How does it show up as a weakness sometimes? What do you consider one of your weaknesses? How can it serve as a strength?