Time for some hard-core honesty. The reason it’s taken me so long publish this post is the plain and simple fact that it has been really difficult to write it. It’s not that I don’t wholeheartedly believe in the power and peace that lie in respecting our bodies; it’s that writing about this caused me to take a hard look at my attitudes towards my body and how I’ve treated it. I’ve felt like an addict in a 12-step program when they hit the step that requires making a “searching and fearless moral inventory.” Let’s just say, it ain’t pretty, and it ain’t comfortable.
Maybe, like me, you’ve disrespected your body by –
Believing cultural views about what’s acceptable and attractive in a body.
Exercising it not because you love how you feel when you do, but to try to force it into some particular shape.
Forcing it to function on too little sleep, not because you had a legitimate reason for missing sleep, but because you deemed other things more important than sleep when they really weren’t.
Wearing ill-fitting clothes in an attempt to hide your body or force it into a too small size for vanity’s sake.
Apologizing for how you look.
Criticizing it when you look in the mirror.
Withholding food when it needed it because you thought you weighed too much.
Feeding it food that does more harm than good.
Overeating for any number of justifiable reasons.
Wasting time wishing you looked different.
Comparing it to others’ bodies.
Failing to appreciate the miracle of all it is and all it does.
It saddens me to contemplate all the ways and all the wasted time I’ve spent ignoring my body’s needs, thinking negatively about it, and being dissatisfied with it. I’ve never hated my body; I’ve just never given it the respect it deserves. That has changed a lot over these last few years, but it’s definitely still a work in progress.
Not too long ago I was walking with a good friend who said to me, “You’re so comfortable in your body.”
I responded, “Finally!” I’m often struck with the irony of how I’m close to the largest I’ve ever been, but am the most content I’ve ever been in my body (other than when I was a child and was blissfully unaware of any societal expectation of my body). The reason for this is 100% because I’m learning to respect and appreciate this fantastic physical self I have.
To show you how my attitude has changed, consider this.
A while back I did one of those quiz things on Facebook. You know the ones where you answer random questions about yourself for the sake of everyone learning more about their friends? The one I took went something like this -
Been to Mexico? – yes
Tattoos – none
Had chickenpox? – yes
Least favorite thing about your body –
I actually answered that last question. (sighs and rolls eyes) But I want a do-over, so I’m taking one here.
Least favorite thing about your body – Really? What a ridiculous question! The human body is an awe-inspiring creation that is so intricate and miraculous in its functions that even after centuries of study by brilliant minds, it has yet to be figured all out! “What is my least favorite thing about my body?” Psh! Nothing!! Now, ask a more reasonable question like, “Most favorite thing about your body!”
Can we please just stop with the relentless scrutiny of bodies – our own and others’?
There’s so much we can do toward health and wholeness in this area, far too much to cover in one blog post. To get the ball rolling, I’ll share some of the headings, and a few quotes from the “Respect Your Body” chapter of Intuitive Eating. Here we go.
Body Image: A Waist is a Terrible Thing to Mind
Why “Respect?” – “You don’t have to like every part of your body to respect it….Respecting your body means treating it with dignity and meeting its basic needs.”
How to Respect Your Body
Getting Comfortable – Wear clothes that fit your body and flatter your personality.
Change Your Body-Assessment Tools – You are not a number on a scale.
Quit the Body-Check Game – No more comparing yourself to others!
Don’t Compromise for the “Big Event” – No more dieting before the class reunion.
Stop Body-Bashing – Those negative thoughts toward your body? Nope! Just stop.
Don’t Engage in “Fat-Talk” – Give those body disparaging conversations a rest.
Respect Body Diversity, Especially Yours – There’s this thing called genetics, people.
Be Realistic – What’s realistic for you, not anyone else?
Do Nice Things for Your Body – You deserve it.
Your Natural Body Weight – Please read Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon
Saying Goodbye to the Fantasy – “You may need to mourn for the lost body you never had or will have, and evaluate what this means to you. …By saying farewell to the fantasy, you open the door to being at peace not only with your body but with other facets of your life.”
Respecting our bodies is not about giving up or “letting ourselves go.” It’s about trusting our body’s wisdom, allowing it to be what it’s meant to be, appreciating it, and treating it well. It’s about being comfortable and at peace with our physical selves.
Week 2 – What is Intuitive Eating?
Week 3 – Honor Your Hunger
Week 4 – Make Peace With Food
Week 5 – Get Sassy With Your Food Cops
Week 6 – Feel Your Fullness
Week 7 – Embrace Pleasure
Week 8 - Is Emotional Eating a Problem?