A couple of weeks ago I posted about the beauty of aging. HERE Then this week this article in The New York Times written by a clinical psychologist in her seventies on The Joy of Being a Woman in Her Seventies popped up on my device. that's not an idea you hear every day in our society.
The entire purpose of this post is to entice you to read that article. Even if you're still in your twenties, or anywhere between twenty and seventy, go there and see what you have to look forward to.
Following are a few quotes (with my comments in parenthesis) to whet your appetite and, hopefully, get you curious enough to click through. Enjoy!
In America, ageism is a bigger problem for women than aging.
Our happiness comes from self-knowledge, emotional intelligence and empathy for others. (You can possess these qualities at younger ages, but not to the same extent.)
We all suffer, but not all of us grow. Those of us who grow do so by developing our moral imaginations and expanding our carrying capacities for pain and bliss. In fact, this pendulum between joy and despair is what makes old age catalytic for spiritual and emotional growth.
Many of us have learned that happiness is a skill and a choice. We don’t need to look at our horoscopes to know how our day will go. We know how to create a good day.
I visited the jazz great Jane Jarvis when she was old, crippled and living in a tiny apartment with a window facing a brick wall. I asked if she was happy and she replied, “I have everything I need to be happy right between my ears.”
There is an amazing calculus in old age. As much is taken away, we find more to love and appreciate. (So true! Unexpected how gaining more experience can bring about a simpler view of things.) We experience bliss on a regular basis. As one friend said: “When I was young I needed sexual ecstasy or a hike to the top of a mountain to experience bliss. Now I can feel it when I look at a caterpillar on my garden path.”
As my aunt Grace, who lived in the Ozarks, put it, “I get what I want, but I know what to want.”
We can be kinder to ourselves as well as more honest and authentic. Our people-pleasing selves soften their voices and our true selves speak more loudly and more often. We don’t need to pretend to ourselves and others that we don’t have needs. We can say no to anything we don’t want to do. We can listen to our hearts and act in our own best interest. We are less angst-filled and more content, less driven and more able to live in the moment with all its lovely possibilities. (Doesn't this sound heavenly? It is, but growing with age is the price.)
Many of us have a shelterbelt of good friends and long-term partners. There is a sweetness to 50-year-old friendships and marriages that can’t be described in language. (AMEN!)
I knew my great-grandmother, and if I live long enough, will meet my great-grandchildren. I will have known seven generations of family. I see where I belong in a long line of Scotch-Irish ancestors. (So much of our life's energy is often spent trying to find our place in the world. Knowing generations of our families before and after us can provide an understanding like nothing else can. It can ground and enlighten us in totally unique ways.)
Here's the link again, in case you didn't use it earlier.
If, like most, you're less than thrilled about the idea of getting older, I invite you to examine how much of that is from cultural conditioning and then have the audacity to challenge that and embrace the beauty and privileges of aging.