There's no love without acceptance first.
I recently heard that thought. While I haven't pondered it long enough to decide if I believe it applies to everything, I do believe it applies to our body.
You might be thinking, "How can I love my body when it's this skinny/fat, this tall/short, this old or ill or broken?" But think about it. Don't any of those questions really boil down to, "How can I love my body when it's not perfect? Or at least much closer to perfect?" But what is "perfect?"
I've grown into the belief that our body, whatever it's age, shape, size, level of health, or whatever, is perfect for us at any given moment in time. How can I think that? Our bodies are powerful teachers. Often we're responsible for the condition they're in. In that case, they can be a masterful guide in looking at how our choices serve us.
There are choices that may have served well in the moment they occurred, but they may have outlived their helpfulness and a different choice would serve us better now. Maybe exercising hard worked well before, but now slowing down may serve better. Maybe stress eating soothed us in a moment we really needed soothing, but now we may be ready to deal with emotions differently. Listening to our bodies can teach us.
Other times we may deal with conditions outsides of our control, like injury or illness. In these cases, there are also potent lessons we can learn. Our illness or injury can serve to to refine us, can act as an impetus for personal growth. I've seen too many examples of friends' health challenges turning into periods of sacred instruction to overlook the possibility of "bad" things really being blessings.
So, the big question is, "How can I cherish (yes, cherish) the body I have right now - no matter its condition?"
Here are a few practices to help with that.
1) Reject cultural ideas of shape.
Start with recognizing how prevalent size bias is in our society, and I'm not only talking about fat shaming. Bodies (even specific body parts) of almost all shapes, sizes, heights, or weights are deemed unacceptable in one way or another at one time or another. Well, phoo on that!
Once we recognize the often body toxic environment we live in we can then become militant (at least in our own mind) in fighting for our right to choose what shape is best for our own body.
2) Reject common beliefs about what's "good/bad" or "okay/not okay."
If we're struggling with illness or injury, it's likely we're surrounded by caring family, friends, or even strangers with the idea that our situation is bad or unfair. We can graciously accept their empathy, while we simultaneously reject their perspective. Our situation may be hard, but hard and bad are two completely different things.
On the other hand, if it's the shape or size of our body that's viewed as not okay then we as a whole person may seen as unacceptable. (Sometimes it's us making the judgment against ourselves. Ouch!) Be rational. This idea is quite simply ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, that I'm not even going to justify it by saying anything more than if you believe for even a split second that you are in any way unacceptable due to your body, JUST STOP IT!
3) Smother it with gratitude.
Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. I challenge you to apply that power to your body. Make list of at least 100 things you appreciate about your amazing body. It's okay if you can't do this all in one sitting. Just keep at it until you have at least 100.
4) Notice the miracle daily.
Our bodies are nothing short of miraculous! Once you complete your list of 100+ things you appreciate about your body, keep the love coming. Take time to notice what it does for you daily. Without any conscious commands, my heart keeps beating, my body keeps breathing, my small wounds heal, my stomach digests what I feed it. My feet carry me where I want to go. My brain thinks thoughts and my hands type them to share with the world. There are millions of awe-inspiring things our bodies do. All. The. Time. Regularly taking time to notice some of them generates a reverence for the miracle of this physical form we inhabit.
As we cultivate acceptance and appreciation for the astounding gift that is our body, we naturally grow in the respect we show it in our thoughts, in the foods we choose for it, and in the amount of rest and activity we seek. It's been my experience that more I appreciate the gift, the more I appreciate the Giver of the gift.
Let's do this!