Can we just talk about this phenomenal phrase? The post as a whole is a good one, but Wise assertiveness? This is my new favorite phrase of the week - probably much longer.
As we become more self-aware and develop and nurture acceptance of ourselves - all our faults and weaknesses (real or perceived) included, - we naturally develop greater self-respect. As all of that grows, we learn how to give ourselves grace, how to stand up for ourselves and defend ourselves when needed. Sometimes we "need to be (our) own hero," as Andy Grammer says, well, sings.
All that being said, too often I see people on the path of personal development come to the place where they are learning to set healthy boundaries and just become straight up aggressive. I understand the energy of a lifetime of holding things in sometimes explodes out once those things are given permission to exist, and sometimes when a pendulum of not speaking up for ourselves is released it has to swing all the way to the other side before coming to a healthy, comfortable medium.
I believe assertiveness is one of many qualities which are not only helpful, but downright essential in living a happy, healthy, well-balanced life. But I've seen how easy it is to cross the line from healthy assertiveness to unhealthy aggressiveness. That's why I love this phrase so much.
Wise assertiveness knows when to stand up and when to stand down. It knows that sometimes it's enough to know we're making the choice that's right for us without needing to prove to anyone its rightness. Wise assertiveness can allow others their opinion while calmly holding firm to is own.
Wise assertiveness also knows the value of relationships and respect and can hold fast to self-respect without disrespecting another. It facilitates a strong, healthy relationship with self while honoring relationships with others, especially when there's friction. It defends and protects without crossing the line into bullying.
There is power and peace in sound assertiveness. My hope for you, for all of us, is that we know how to stand up for ourselves without stepping all over others, that we have the wisdom and courage to know how and when to speak up and when to quiet down, that we honor ourselves without dishonoring others, that we know how to be wisely assertive.