Just this morning, I read these wise words -
"I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound...
to be full and to be hungry...
to abound and to suffer need."
(Phil. 4:11-12)
This struck me particularly powerfully, since I woke up this morning feeling off. Lately, I've been waking up daily with the words, "It's good to be alive right about now," playing in my head. Not today. Today I just wasn't feeling it. Today it was, "meh," at best.
I don't know about you, but when I feel off like that I want to fix it. I know I'm not alone in that. It's easy to feel content when we're abounding, when things are going our way, when we're full and feeling good. We want life to always feel that way.
However, reading those words this morning, I was reminded it's okay to feel meh. Not only do we have absolutely zero moral obligation to feel good or to be 'on' all the time, it's not realistic to aim for that. We're meant to experience highs and lows. That's part of our beautiful, expansive human experience.
Sometimes life is hard, challenges feel like more than we can take. Other times, it's not particularly hard, but we're still not feeling the joy, and that's okay. More than okay. It's part of what makes life colorful.
Whenever I'm reminded of this, an old poem comes to mind.
The Weaver
My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft' times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.
Grant Colfax Tuller
Now, a discussion could be had about what role our agency, our power of choice plays in all this, but that's a topic for another day. For today, let's consider the phrase, "The dark threads are as needful...as the threads of gold and silver." Any artist in any visual medium knows the role and value of light and shadow. You wouldn't have much of an image if you tried to make it all light. Shadow gives definition and shape, so an image can be seen.
This is true of life, too.
We're not meant to live in all light all the time. Times of light grey, like my feelings this morning, or even times of darkness give shape, definition, even increased capacity for wisdom and compassion to our lives. Soon or late, brighter times will come, and ultimately, if not immediately, we'll see the beauty in the contrast.
If we can -
1) Allow our feelings without judging them,
2) Trust that darker times serve a purpose,
and
3) Trust that darker times will pass, giving way again to the "threads of gold and silver,"
we can "learn, in whatsoever state we are in, therewith to be content." That's what I call a nourished life.