A word about goals/resolutions, please.
We're a month into a new year and new decade, and who knows where you are with your plans for self-improvement? Maybe you're killing it and super pumped up from the stellar self-discipline you've shown and you're riding a thrilling wave of motivation. Maybe you're making some progress, but not as much as you had hoped, so your enthusiasm is beginning to wane. Maybe you're discouraged and ready to throw in the towel, if you haven't already. Or perhaps you're staunchly anti-goal setting for whatever reason.
Know that wherever you are on that spectrum is valid.
If you're killing it and high on motivation, - go, you! That feeling is empowering and can take you a long way. Be prepared, though, for when your results become more difficult to measure and sheer commitment may need to carry you where motivation moves you now.
If you're progress is slower than you had hoped, remember, progress is progress and life is not a race. Statistically, gradual changes are more likely to be permanent than fast changes. It might be wise to ask yourself often if you want lasting changes or fast changes.
If you're ready to give up on a goal, or already have, that's okay, too. Maybe you expected more of yourself than you're able to do/give at this point and it's better to let it go. Maybe you chose that goal because you thought you should, rather than because it's what's best for you right now. Maybe there are other things you need to do or learn first to lay the groundwork for taking that on later. If we can use "giving up" as a chance for honest introspection instead of seeing it as failure, we can see ourselves more clearly which is great progress in and of itself. From there we can reassess and choose a better suited course for growth.
If you're anti-resolution/goal setting, perhaps you see making a goal as simply setting yourself up for failure, or maybe you don't like being told what to do (even if it's you doing the telling). To you, I offer something different.
The current day "gold standard" for goal setting is the S.M.A.R.T. goal. We're taught that for a goal to be effective it must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-based. And there's a place for goals structured like that.
But what if that approach feels too confining or limiting or just doesn't fit for you?
Maybe Brendon Burchard's idea for choosing D.U.M.B. goals is worth checking into. According to him, goals that are Dream-Driven, Uplifting, Method-Friendly, and Behavior-Driven are better suited to inspiring us and expanding our thinking and our aims. There's a place for those kinds of goals, too.
What if that doesn't make your heart sing either?
Here's a radical thought. - There's power in simply having a desire and a vague idea of the direction you want to go.
Let me give you an example. For years, I wanted a healthier relationship with food and my body. I tried several different approaches, many of them goal-based. None of them ever answered my desire for the kind of peace with food and my body that I longed for, so through it all, I pondered and stewed over my vague idea.
One day, I saw an ad that asked a question that resonated with me. I watched the video linked to that ad. That became a turning point in my journey. It lead me to becoming an Eating Psychology Coach, which lead me to the idea and practices of Intuitive Eating. Now here I am, not only enjoying the relationship with food and my body I craved, but helping others to have that kind of peace and fulfillment, too.
I never could have set a S.M.A.R.T. goal or even a D.U.M.B. goal to become a teacher of eating psychology and intuitive eating because I didn't know Eating Psychology Coaches or actual specific practices for intuitive eating even existed. All I had was a desire and a vague idea.
When we hold onto an impression, an inkling, with a desire to progress toward it, we live in a place not of "failure" or "success," but of learning and growth. There may be a use for S.M.A.R.T. or D.U.M.B. goals along the way, or there may not be.
The bottom line is there is no one way to grow. I invite you to trust yourself enough to find the way to what you want.