In last week's post HERE, we took a look at how women are bombarded with body-centric media messages and how much money is made off of manufactured insecurities. It's really quite discouraging and disgusting once you realize it.

BUT - we have the power to combat those messages. Today you're getting tools, friends - tools you can use to reconstruct the kind of healthy body image you had when you were a young child and were blissfully unconcerned about how you looked. Remember when you gleefully dressed yourself any way you wanted, even if that included polka dot rain boots, a tutu, and a plastic crown? Yeah, that kind of body image.

From More Than a Body (pg 71, italics added) - "The most empowering part of being media savvy is finding that this is an active - not passive - new way of being. The ability to be media literate and effectively deconstruct your body image map isn't just about knowing what to avoid and how outside messages impact you. It is also about realizing you have the power and opportunity to construct a new understanding of your body and the world you inhabit and experience with your body. You have the power to replace your old, misleading body image map with a new set of skills and resources that can guide you toward resilience."

Well, isn't that good news?

It's essential to keep in mind that "media is engineered to influence our perceptions" and that the objectifying ideals it promotes "not only (don't) reflect reality, but (can construct) a new one." (MTaB, pg 72)

But I promised you tools, and here they are.

(Well, maybe not that kind.)

The goal is to be an even more careful consumer than ever before. How? By questioning everything. Media is manipulative. We want to be aware of how our thoughts and behaviors may be being influenced. Only then can we make informed choices.

TOOL #1

Ask Questions

Here are some Lindsay and Lexie Kite suggest we ask when we're watching any kind of media. (pg 75-76)

*Do I feel better or worse about myself when I see this? Would the people in my life feel better or worse about themselves after seeing this?

- Does it spark body anxiety or feelings of shame?

- Does it cause me to engage in self-comparison?

*Who profits from me believing this message? Who is advertising here? (Look for ads, commercials, and product placement, and you'll see who is paying the bills for your favorite media messages.)

- Does this message seek to profit from my insecurities by selling solutions to fix my "flaws"?

* What kind of audience is this message trying to target?

*How are women or girls portrayed or represented here?

- Do they have roles that move the plot forward in a meaningful way?

- Are they valued for their talents, words, personality, or character, or just their appearance or sexual appeal?

*Does it encourage me to fixate on my own or others' appearances?

*Does it promote or reinforce distorted ideals of what bodies and faces should look like - either through digital manipulation or featuring only one body type or "look"?

Armed with the answers to those questions, we have a choice to make.

Let's be real. If we wanted to remove ourselves entirely from these warped ideas, we'd need to step away from media altogether. That's not what I'm suggesting.

As the Kite's put it, "Of course, there will always be media that is both thoroughly entertaining and thoroughly objectifying. This doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing situation in which you either immerse yourself in problematic media and throw caution to the wind or isolate yourself from all potentially harmful content."

"Watch with a critical eye."

TOOL #2

The Bechdel Test

Have you heard of this one? It's super simple and may even seem ridiculous when you first hear about it. It was developed to help discern how women are portrayed in mainstream media. If you haven't heard of or applied this test, you'll probably be shocked at how many movies and shows fail.

To pass the test:

1. It has to have at least two named women in it;

2. who talk to each other;

3. about something besides a man.

Simple, right? Try it - keeping in mind that it's not meant to determine the quality or value of a show or movie; it's just a way to be aware of how women are portrayed and the message that sends.

TOOL #3

Intermittent Media Fast

This is exactly what it sounds like. Taking a break from media can refresh your soul in ways that might surprise you. This fast can be as long or as short as you feel will help. If you've never done this before, I strongly encourage you to give it a try.

You may find it -

- brings awareness to how often you turn to media unconsciously.

- helps you recognize some of the negative impacts of many of the messages.

- relieves some stress if you're a person who is prone to comparing yourself to others.

- frees up time to do things you thought you didn't have time for.

- improves feelings of connection as you interact face to face more often with others.

- increases your self-esteem and body image as you focus on living your real, in-person life.

- gives you perspective on how to allow media into your life effectively.

Two quotes from a young lady whose first media fast was at age sixteen - The first insight came during that fast. The second quote is a reflection she wrote five years later.

"I walked into school thinking how I want to be with people instead of how I simply want to seem to people."

Just imagine if more young women gained that perspective and desire at that age. How different could this world be?

And five years later - "During this fast. I remember feeling indescribably elated. I was more in touch with myself than I had been in some time. Perhaps this was due to the fact that I was actually living my life through my own senses rather than laying on my bed scrolling through miles of empty posts and updates."

The way I view social media is as a party that never ends. There's always something, some new conversation, some update on some continuing story. It's noisy with chatter, which can be fun and uplifting or draining and discouraging, depending on how your use has triggered the algorithms that determine which posts you see. As much as I like a party, who would want to live in one - or even go to one every day? It's important for our mental health for us to step away and just be with ourselves in our own world. We have no moral obligation to keep up on everything everyone posts.

Leave the party for a day, a week, a month - or maybe even longer - and see what happens.

But we're not only consumers of content; we're contributors, too. In addition to using these ideas to monitor your intake, I challenge you to look at what contribution you're making through your output. Let's build each other up with the content we share.

So, there you are - three tools and a challenge. Now, let's make our own world and the world we share better places by becoming media literate, discerning consumers and creators.