As humans, most of us like to feel we have some measure of control. We're thinking creatures with agency to exercise and we like to believe our choices can provide us with a degree of certainty in our lives. To one degree or another, we like to know where we are and what's ahead.
If there's one thing living in the time of this global pandemic has taught us, it's how quickly things can change. Change can be very unsettling and leave us feeling insecure and often scared, especially when it's not clear if or when things may return to anything that feels familiar.
When we're thrust into the unknown, some common responses are to
freeze, unsure of what to do or think,
turn to our favored coping mechanisms and try to just get by,
busy ourselves with any number of different activities, making ourselves too busy to stop and recognize where we really are and what's really happening,
find ourselves involuntarily pausing and getting lost in our thoughts, "buffering" as we try to process the changes going on,
feel tired from all the draining feelings - fear, anger, frustration, confusion, helplessness, to name a few - and wishing it would all just go away, or
try to ignore it all and go about our life as normally as possible, pretending little has changed.
There's nothing wrong with coping. It's a very useful skill.
But we inevitably reach a point where our inner wisdom tells us we need to move beyond just getting by. There's growth available to us, if we'll look for it.
One way to move forward in this time of so much uncertainty is to shift our perspective on change and the unknown.
Take a minute and consider that thought.
When our lives are going along as we have planned and expected, how easy is it to take for granted so many beautiful, precious things on our way? We can get so focused on where we're going we forget to see where we are.
I can't speak for everyone, but I know the sudden and unexpected changes this pandemic has brought have caused me to more deeply appreciate several simple things I had become so accustomed to that I sometimes easily forget how much they mean to me. Things like
going to work,
having necessary supplies readily available,
moving around unencumbered in my world, whether it be to the local store, across the country, or around the world,
seeing the faces of the people around me - without physical barriers of masks, gloves, and the like separating us,
hugging my friends,
holding someone's hand when I talk to them,
having regularly scheduled family dinners,
and so many more.
These uncharted times have helped me understand more clearly what Brene Brown means when she says we're, "hard-wired for connection." I treasure connection more than I ever have and I appreciate in new and deeper ways all the avenues to foster connection.
While this pandemic and it's far-reaching consequences are far from over, and I have no clear idea of how this is all going to play out, I can see what I've gained already from the uncertainty of this time and feel peace and comfort in knowing there are other good things to yet to come - not in spite of, but because of things I haven't planned and over which I have no control.
So, in this regard, - yay, for uncertainty; yipee, for insecurity; and hallelujah, for the unknown. Let's embrace the gifts they have to offer.
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