Tell me if this sounds familiar.
"This year I will have more control of my eating during the holidays. I'm a reasonable, grown adult and I am perfectly capable of making reasonable choices," you tell yourself.
Then Halloween comes.
" I don't want to wait until the last minute to buy candy or all the good stuff might be gone."
You buy a bag of your favorite candy - but only because you want to give out the good stuff. It's not for you. You won't eat it.
Until a few days later at the end of a particularly stressful day when you justify, "I'll only have one or two." Those two begin to soothe you, but aren't enough to finish the job. "Just a couple more will do it," you tell yourself. Those two more turn into a few more by the time your stress is gone. "There's still lots left for the kids," you reason.
By the time Halloween comes, you've finished off the bag. You wait until the day before Halloween to get more - vowing that you've consumed your quota of Halloween candy for the year.
"We didn't have as many trick-or-treaters this year as we usually do," you think, eyeing the leftover candy. You promise yourself you'll give the extra away, but your kids already have too much and you're sure the neighbor kids do too. Their parents wouldn't appreciate the extra candy at their house any more than you do. Over the next day or two while you're figuring out who might want it, it disappears one little piece at a time - because, of course, one little piece of candy won't hurt anything.
Similar scenarios play out over Thanksgiving and Christmas despite the recurring renewal of our promises to ourselves. We eat too much pumpkin bread, turkey, and pie, too many mashed potatoes, rolls, and other goodies. We're overcome by cute Christmas cookies, cozy hot chocolate, and the overflowing cornucopia of all the other fun, beautiful, and delicious holiday foods. We end the season feeling mildly to thoroughly disappointed, maybe even disgusted with ourselves.
Why do we do this?
There are a myriad of answers. Here are a few.
- We have unrealistic lists of food shoulds and shouldn'ts.
- We underestimate the stress of the season and strength of our old habits of soothing ourselves with food.
- We forget how strong the emotional pull is of special recipes and treats we usually only see once a year during the holidays.
- We don't want to hurt people's feelings when they make something special for us.
- Holidays can bring up ALL the emotions. Food is often used to brighten the joy or numb the pain - and that has more power than any intention we may have to "control ourselves."
What can we do about it?
Again, there are a myriad of answers. Here are the two practices I believe are not only the simplest, but also the best place to start.
1. BREATHE! Oh my gosh, is she talking about this again?! Well, yes. Yes, I am. Because it's that important and that effective. Taking the time to take a few slow, deep breaths can center us, giving us a better handle on any emotions that might be tied to our eating. It also activates our relaxation response and parasympathetic nervous system which helps our body be in the best place for optimum digestion. It creates space between the stimulus to eat and the action of eating. That space allows us to consider what we are about to do. Focusing on our breathing brings us fully into the moment, which leads to the second practice.
2. SLOW DOWN AND SAVOR. Give that food the love and respect it deserves. Be with that food. Take it in with all your senses. Don't treat it like a cheap one night stand; let it be the love of your life. You'll likely find one of two most common things happen when you do this. First, you'll appreciate it in a whole new way. It then becomes so much more satisfying and enriching that you'll find yourself needing far less of it to be fulfilled and satiated. OR - Second, you'll realize it's not really that good, maybe it's downright unpalatable. It might be the epicurean equivalent of that cheap one night stand - and you deserve better than that! Slowing down provides the opportunity to evaluate what that food really is to you, what it does for you. It allows you to find the proper place for it, whether that be an honored place or no place at all. Whatever you come to recognize about it, you end up eating less (because you let it satisfy you) of it or none of it (because you realize you don't actually like it). Win-win!
When we put these two practices into play, we can make it through the holidays feeling much more relaxed and reasonable around food. Rather than looking back with regret at how we've eaten, we can be content and ready to move into the new year without feeling like we need to undo what we've done to ourselves over the past several weeks.
Now, go thoroughly enjoy your holidays! You have better things to do than waste time stressing over food!
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