Recently I drove through an old neighborhood accompanied by two people I love. This neighborhood had the most adorable houses. The conversation in the car went something like this.
1 - Look at that cute house!
Me - That is cute. Look at that one.
1 - And that one, too.
Me - Yeah, this neighborhood is full of really cute houses. They have so much character.
2 - There are plenty of ugly houses, too.
Me - There are, but there are so many cute ones.
1 - Like that one!
2 - There's another ugly house.
Me - How cute is that one?
As we continued through the neighborhood, the commenting also continued.
2 - Ugly one.
1 - Cute one.
2 - Ugly.
1 - Super cute.
2 - Another ugly one.
And so it went.
I had to laugh. That conversation illustrated so simply and so well the principle that we see what we choose to see in life and what we focus on makes all the difference.
I'm not proposing that it's healthy to totally ignore unpleasant things in order to frame our world in perpetual sunshine and rainbows. That's just not reality - and living in reality is just a little bit important.
Balance is the thing.
Of course, we need to acknowledge the difficult and unpleasant parts of life. But what do we feature on the main stage of our brain? The hard, annoying, discouraging parts or the lovely, positive, encouraging ones?
Giving more attention to the good, the pleasant, the exciting possibilities is a critical practice if we want to be happy. It's also a habit that encourages not only us, but those around us.
If we want to get an accurate assessment of where we live in the balance between a positive focus and a negative focus, we need to pay attention not only to our thoughts, but to our words and actions as well. Are more of our actions working for something or against something? Is most of what comes out of our mouths complaining and negative or supportive and positive? Do more of our thoughts lead us to a bright or dismal view of the world?
I wonder if children's author Bill Martin, Jr. realized he was asking one of life's most important questions when he asked Brown Bear what he saw. I ask you, Nourished Friend, Nourished Friend, what do you see?
This world is full of ugliness. It's also full of beauty. Which do you want to see more of? It's totally up to you.
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